Here’s something I wrote a long time ago (think I was about 17-18 years old) about my first love, shortly after I told her what I’d been through she decided she couldn’t deal with it and she dumped me…

Dreaming
The happy dreams often make me cry
But the bad ones are worse
I hear your voice
Speaking, muttering or crying
But it’s not for me anymore
I talk to you, love into your eyes
But you say nothing, sometimes look away
I kiss your smile, and worship
But when I tell you, you look sad
Start to cry and turn your back to me
Sometimes I see you
At the top of that hill, by the tree
You’re looking at the sun
It’s red and going down.
I can feel some whispering breeze on my face
Caressing and soothing
You wrap your arms around yourself
And pretend not to notice
In one dream you were dancing
Your eyes were closed
And you looked like some light-driven dynamo
Every twirl and swirl and sway
Giving off energy so bright
So bright you were on fire
You burned into my eyes
Your form finely etched into my mind
In another you were lying
On the grass by the river
You looked like you thought
Nothing on this earth mattered
You said nothing that time
Did nothing
But I could see into your eyes
They looked so empty
I thought if I fell in there
I’d never make it out
Now you look on someone else
Those eyes, that smile
That voice, that touch…
Do you ever dream of me? (don’t answer that)
Sometimes when I see you
On the street or in a bar
Our eyes lock for a second
I feel sad then
Because whatever was to pass between us
Gets grabbed up by a wind
Which has no sympathy
Or maybe it has too much
The more I think of it
The less I’d like to know
What matters is you’re always there
In my dreams, my day-dreams
My thoughts to pass away the days
I can’t remember how you laughed
I think I’d like that
It’s the only thing I’ve forgotten
I can see the grin and the flushing cheeks
But I can’t hear the laugh
Why can’t I hear you laugh?
My dreams of you are bad ones
Because you’re no longer with me
(Sometimes I lose myself in raindrops
Little reflections of frozen worlds
Moments of time captured
For less than a second
The tears of angels
Sitting on their clouds weeping for us
It’s scary how much they cry)